Altered Perception
by Kir C
Summary: Born to a different clan, Naruto meets a man that changes his outlook on life. Walking a path scarcely travelled, Naruto will fight for what he believes in while protecting those he cares about. Uchiha Naruto. Super pervert Naruto. Naruto is not the kyuubi Jinchuriki.
1. Chapter 1

AN: Hello all, welcome to Altered Perception. I was originally going to publish this along with the update for Ancestral Awakening and Hogwarts Overkill, but due to a spider keeping me up for most of last night and a rather full weekend, I was unable to finish the new chapters and I decided to rather just post this now and then post those other chapters later this week... Man I'm tired.

To all my new readers, welcome. To those who have read my other stories, welcome back.

Truthfully, I don't know where this story will go and I wrote it in the spur of the moment, but I think it has potential to be interesting and funny... I can actually see this story branching out into crossovers later on.

Just one more additional note before we get to the story. Please enjoy... no, that's the note... seriously... why are you still reading the author note instead of the story... seriously, the story is right there, get to reading already, I think you will like it... Aaaaaaaaand start.

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, it's so sad that I don't own it, but I had to tell you that, rules and whatnot.

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Chapter 1: Eyes wide open

A young dark haired boy scowled as sweat poured down his face. Looking around the lake, the boy's sight landed on the spot where he once saw a kid his age master the jutsu he was currently working on. New found determination filled the dark haired boy as he went through the hand signs he was taught. "Tiger, Ram, Monkey, Boar, Horse, Tiger." The boy chanted, hoping to finally master the jutsu.

"Katon: Gokakyu no Jutsu." The boy yelled as he blew a small amount of fire from his mouth. Noticing the size of his fireball, the boy immediately stopped. "What the hell, it only took that other kid a week and this is my second week." The boy began, angry that he had yet to master the jutsu. "Shitty clan elders. Shitty Katon jutsu. Shitty coming of age rite." The boy ranted.

Wiping the sweat from his brow, the boy let out an exhausted sigh. Lifting up his arm, he took a sniff of his underarm, before recoiling. "I better get a bath at the hot spring." The boy mumbled. Walking away from the lake, the boy was lost in thought, wondering why it was taking so long for him to master the Katon jutsu.

Not paying attention to his surroundings, the boy accidentally bumped someone. "Sorry." He apologised as he glanced up at the person he bumped into. The boy took notice of the sunglasses and bandana that the man had on.

The man glanced at the boy, before walking off, ignoring the boys apology in favour of muttering something about a pervert.

"Shitty rude man." The boy muttered. Looking around, the boy realised that he was standing in front of the hot spring. The boy grinned as he realised that bumping into the rude man stopped him from passing the hot spring. "Lucky." The boy said, before entering the hot spring.

Stripping down to his boxers, the boy wrapped himself in a towel, before grabbing a bucket of water and a bar of soap. Rushing to clean himself, the boy poured the bucket of water over himself, before practically diving into the hot spring. "Aaaah, if only that Katon jutsu could be as simple as this." The boy let out a relaxed sigh as he resolved himself to enjoy the warm water of the hot spring.

The boys' peace was broken when he heard a man giggling at the wall that divided the male and female sides of the hot spring. "Just ignore him, he'll soon go away." The boy tried convincing himself. Closing his eyes the boy tried to ignore the giggling, but found that it was impossible.

The boy grumbled to himself as he climbed out of the hot spring. Walking towards the sound of the giggling, the boy found a white haired man, dressed in green and red peeking through the hole that divided the male and female section of the hot spring. "Oi, old man, keep it down will ya. Some of us came here to relax, not listen to you giggle." The boy began.

"Shhhh. Keep it down brat." The white haired man replied. "If they catch us, they're going to be pissed."

"Catch us?" The boy asked, not sure what the man meant by that.

"Yeah brat, catch us... and if they do, those women will do the most horrible things to us." The man added.

"Then why would you look through there if something so bad could happen." The boy asked, worried that the women would think that he was an accomplice.

The man sighed as pulled himself away from the hole. "Why do fish swim? The answer to your question is the same as the answer to my question." The man replied. Looking at the boy in front of him, the man realised that he still didn't seem to understand. "You know what... here... look." The man moved away from his spot at the wall.

"I don't know. You said that if we're caught, they will do horrible things to us... I'm not sure that it's worth the risk." The boy whispered, worried that the women on the other side of the wall might hear them.

"Just take a quick peek. They won't know that you're there and I promise that I will keep you safe if they do find out... It's your first time peeking after all." The white haired man reassured the boy.

Shifting nervously, the boy finally made up his mind. "Alright, but just for a second." The boy replied. Crouching in front of the hole, the boy steadied his breath as he slowly lowered his head towards the hole. Looking through the hole, the boy began to examine the woman's side of the hot spring. "All I see is steam... Wait, I see something moving in the steam. Is that what women look like without their clothes, they're bouncy... bouncy... bouncy." The boy chanted, hypnotised by what he was seeing. The boy let out a giggle that was unbefitting of a kid his age.

The white haired man smirked as the boy switched between muttering bouncy and letting out a giggle. "Alright, that's enough for now." The man pulled the boy away from the hole. Looking at the boy, he noticed that the boy had the largest grin on his face with a small amount of blood dripping from his nose. "So how was your first peeking experience? I know I still remember the first time I peeked." Realising that the boy was zoned out, the man shook him slightly.

"Huh, where am I? Where's my bouncy heaven?" The boy muttered, looking around.

The white haired man chuckled at the expression on the boy's face. "Don't worry kid, you'll have plenty of time to see your bouncy heaven in the future, but not right now... it's my turn to peek now."

"I have finally found you." A voice sounded from behind the duo.

Turning around, the white haired man glanced at the man that was preventing him from peeking, before turning back towards the wall. "Go away Ebisu, I'm currently busy with important research."

"Jiraiya-sama, I should have expected that it was you. Only one of your skills could possibly evade me." Ebisu began, before glancing at the boy standing next to Jiraiya. "And you have corrupted a youth... Do not worry young one, I will personally make sure that we take you to a Yamanaka to remove Jiraiya's corruption. Now follow me Jiraiya, it's time to face judgement for your crime of peeking."

Ignoring Ebisu, Jiraiya began to giggle as he continued to peek.

"I see that you will not listen to me. I am sorry Jiraiya-sama, but you have forced my hand." Ebisu apologised, before taking a deep breath. "YOU FIEND, HOW DARE YOU PEEK ON THE WOMEN'S SIDE OF THE HOT SPRING." Ebisu's yell caused the women to shriek as they rushed out of the hot spring.

Jiraiya sighed, annoyed that Ebisu ruined his good time. "Hey kid, get dressed, we're leaving." Jiraiya said, before turning towards Ebisu. With a speed that Ebisu couldn't follow, Jiraiya swiftly knocked him out, before dragging him to the wall. Jiraiya carefully positioned Ebisu in front of the wall, making it look like Ebisu was peeking. "That should do it." Jiraiya muttered, before calmly walking away from the wall. Walking into the changing room, Jiraiya found the boy dressed in a matching dark blue shirt and pants, he quickly tapped the boy on the shoulder. "Hey kid, there's just one more thing I have to do, before leaving." With a puff of smoke, Jiraiya was replaced by an average looking man with dark brown hair wearing a chunin vest. "Let's get out of here kid."

The duo walked out of the hot spring as calmly as possible, leaving just before a group of hastily dressed women rushed into the men's section. Listening to the screams of Ebisu, the boy resolved himself to never be caught peeking. Once they were far enough from the hot spring, Jiraiya released his Henge.

"Well kid, as I promised, I helped you escape. Next time, you will have to escape on your own." Jiraiya began. "I think I'll go check out the hot spring that's frequented by Kunoichi ... Man, the things ninja training will do to a female body." Jiraiya began to drool.

Still slightly shaken by almost being caught, the boy decided not to peek on Kunoichi. "I guess I'll just go back to working on my jutsu." The boy replied.

"Jutsu... Aren't you a bit young to be working on a jutsu?" Jiraiya asked, wondering what jutsu the boy in front of him could be talking about.

"No, the elders said it was a coming of age rite." The boy explained.

'Coming of age rite? Could this boy be related to... no, that's impossible, he doesn't seem to have the stick up his ass that all the others seem to possess, unless he hasn't developed the stick yet.' Jiraiya thought as he subtly examined the boys features. "Hey kid, what's your name? In case you didn't hear Ebisu, my name is Jiraiya."

"Sorry, I forgot to introduce myself, I was a little distracted by the bouncy, hehe... I'm Uchiha Naruto, It's nice to meet you Jiraiya." Naruto replied, remembering how the elders stressed how important it is to introduce yourself politely.

'Holy crap, an Uchiha that doesn't talk in grunts, this is rare... And he's on the path to becoming a pervert, this is just too good to pass up." Jiraiya thought as he considered his next move. "Hmmm, Naruto, that's a nice name. Tell you what, why don't I tag along, I'm sure I could help you with your jutsu."

"You could help me with my jutsu?" Naruto asked, sceptical of Jiraiya's offer.

"Sure thing kid, I'm one of the legendary Sannin. If I can't help you, I'm not sure who can." Jiraiya replied.

Considering Jiraiya's offer, Naruto nodded his head. "I think I once read about the Sannin being great ninja's. Okay, let's go to the lake." Naruto said.

After walking for a few minutes, the duo soon arrived at the lake. "So what do I do?" Naruto asked, looking at Jiraiya expectantly.

"Show me your jutsu, I can't help without knowing what's wrong with your jutsu." Jiraiya replied.

"Oh, right." Naruto muttered. "Tiger, Ram, Monkey, Boar, Horse, Tiger." Naruto chanted. "Katon: Gokakyu no jutsu."

Examining the small ball of fire that shot out of Naruto's mouth, Jiraiya signalled for Naruto to end the jutsu. "Okay, I think I might know of a way that will be easier for you. Try the jutsu again, but instead of using Tiger for the first hand seal, use Snake." Jiraiya suggested.

Shrugging at Jiraiya's suggestion, Naruto went through the hand signs again, starting with snake. "Katon: Gokakyu no jutsu." Naruto expelled a fireball three times larger than the one he attempted without Jiraiya's suggestion. Ending the jutsu, Naruto cheered at the vast improvement of his jutsu. "Did you see that, It was much bigger than my original fireball... How did you know that would work?" Naruto asked.

"I've met a few Uchiha that had a similar problem with that jutsu and all of them said that by replacing the first hand sign with either Tiger or Snake, the jutsu would be easier to use... Your parents must have forgotten to mention that when they first showed you this jutsu." Jiraiya explained.

Naruto's cheerful mood disappeared at the mention of parents. "I... I don't have any. The clan elders said they died on a mission when I was a baby." Naruto replied, looking to the floor.

Jiraiya sighed as he placed his hand on Naruto's shoulder. "Well kid, it's a tough world we live in. One moment we're here and the next we're gone, but we mustn't let ourselves be overcome by the pain of the past, after all, to be a Shinobi means to be one who endures and judging by the burn marks on your hands, you are working hard to become a Shinobi." Jiraiya gently squeezed Naruto's shoulder.

"You know, you and I are similar in a few things. We are both orphans from before we could remember our parents, we both enjoy peeking and in a few years, I'm sure you will enjoy sake." Jiraiya continued. "You know what, why don't you read this and tell me what you think." Jiraiya handed Naruto an Orange book. "Just don't let anyone else see it or they will take it away from you."

Feeling more cheerful, Naruto looked at the book quizzically. "What's that?" Naruto asked, wondering why Jiraiya was handing him the book.

"It's my novel, Icha Icha paradise. While I would normally not give this book to a child, I have a feeling that you will enjoy what's in it, especially with how you enjoyed the hot spring." Jiraiya explained. "While you're reading, try to imagine the female characters as those you saw in the hot spring."

Naruto cautiously took the book. "How will I tell you what I think of it if I don't know where to find you?" Naruto asked as he looked from the book to Jiraiya.

"How about we meet up, I'll be around the hot spring most afternoons so you could just find me there."Jiraiya replied, before noticing that it was getting darker. "Well, it's getting late and I still have some research to do. See you later Naruto." Jiraiya said, before disappearing in a puff of smoke.

Looking down at the book Jiraiya left him with, the words 'keep it hidden.' Echoed within Naruto's mind, before he placed the book in his pocket. "I guess I'll read it when I get home." Naruto decided. The thoughts of all the new things he experienced playing through his head. Remembering the wonderful bouncy that he saw in the hot spring, Naruto let out a giggle as a small amount of blood leaked from his nose.

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An: There we go, Chapter 1 of a Uchiha Naruto that learns the art of being a super pervert from the biggest pervert in the show. I have a few ideas where to go with this and I'm not really sure what you will think of it... But it has to be done... Please Follow, Favorite and Review this story and maybe even check out my other stories.

To all those that say Naruto is too young to have a perverted mindset, let me just remind you that Itachi was said to have had the wisdom of a hokage when he was even younger, maybe I'll start a thing where Uchiha develop certain mindsets when they are children, Could you imagine Sasuke being overly obsessed with cleanliness. "I must avenge my clan... Oh no, I got mud on my clothes."

That's all folks. Kir c signing off.


	2. Chapter 2

An: Hello, welcome to the second chapter of Altered Perception. Initially I was going to write this on the weekend and write Hogwarts overkill during the week, but I felt no inspiration for Hogwarts overkill today, so, I decided to just write this and see where it went. I actually rewrote this because I felt the first version of this chapter could have been better.

Thanks to all those who have favorited, followed and reviewed this story, it's nice to know your work is appreciated.

Just a quick heads up, this chapter gets kind of dark and there were a few things I was unsure of how to write, so if you see something that looks like it doesn't really fit, then that's probably it.

If you feel like it, please favorite, follow and review. Now, onto the story.

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, but that's okay, I have cake.

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 **Chapter 2: Keep it close to your heart**

Naruto let out a yawn as he stretched in his bed. "Mmmh, what happened to the wonderful bouncy?" He asked. Rubbing the sleep from his eyes, Looking around the room, Naruto's eyes landed on one of his shirts draped over a chair. Climbing out of bed, Naruto grabbed the shirt, a large grin on his face as his eyes searched for his pride and joy... Not the Uchiha crest that symbolised that he had completed his coming of age rite, no, it was something more subtle, something hidden, something strapped to the inside of his shirt.

"Come to Naruto." Naruto muttered as he reached inside his shirt. Finding what he was looking for, a soft click noise sounded through the room before Naruto removed his most prised possession... Icha Icha paradise. Turning to the page he had read last, Naruto remembered how it came to be that he decided to hide the book in his own room.

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 **Flashback Start**

Naruto let out a giggle as he turned the page of the book Jiraiya had lent him. 'Man, this book is awesome.' He thought, his eyes glued to the book. 'Hmmm, I wonder what that word means... ' So lost in the book, Naruto was startled when he heard someone knocking loudly on his door.

Remembering Jiraiya's warning, Naruto graciously hid the book in his pants before walking towards the door. "How may I help you?" Naruto asked as he opened his door. Taking note of who was bothering him, Naruto was glad he listened to Jiraiya's advice. "Elder-san, I wasn't expecting you today."

An elderly, stern looking woman entered Naruto's house, her greying hair up in a bun. "Naruto, it is good to see that you have remembered my lecture about always being polite." The elderly woman replied. "I am here for two reasons, the first being this." She handed Naruto a shirt wrapped in plastic.

Ripping the plastic off of the shirt, Naruto grinned when he saw the Uchiha crest on the back it. "Does this mean that I..." He began.

"Yes. As of today you are recognised as a full Uchiha. Wear that symbol with pride." The elderly woman said, deciding to let Naruto bask in his accomplishment for the day. "With that crest comes the responsibility of upholding the clans' honour at all times, I'm sure that will not be a problem, am I right to assume this?"

"Yes. I'm going to change into this right now." Naruto replied, rushing off to the bathroom before the elder could state the second reason she was there.

Quickly pulling his shirt off, the Icha Icha book that Naruto was hiding fell to the floor. 'Crap, if the elder finds me with this book, there's going to be hell to pay. I better hide it somewhere, but where?' Looking around the room, Naruto's eyes landed on the perfect place. Taking the book, Naruto carefully wrapped it in the plastic that was once wrapped around his new shirt. Once the book was wrapped to Naruto's liking, he quickly lifted the lid to the toilet's cistern before carefully placing the plastic wrapped book in. Putting the lid back on the toilet's cistern, Naruto quickly put his new shirt on.

Taking a moment to admire his new shirt, Naruto smiled when his eyes caught sight of the Uchiha symbol's reflection in his mirror. 'I better not take too long, I don't want the elder pissed at me.' Naruto thought before heading out. Catching sight of an unimpressed looking elder standing by his door, a bead of sweat dripped down Naruto's forehead. 'Crap, she looks angry.'

"Next time an elder says that they have two things they want to discuss, I suggest that you listen to what they have to say." The elderly woman said, a small scowl etched on her face.

"Sorry, I was just really excited. " Naruto replied, hoping that his answer wouldn't piss the elder off more than she already was.

Silently staring at Naruto for a moment, the elderly woman decided to continue. "The second thing I wanted to discuss with you was this." She said, handing Naruto a thin stack of paper. "These are the academy register forms. Should you want to pursue the path of a ninja, you will have to fill those out. I will give you a week to decide."

Looking through the registration form, Naruto considered the choices he had in front of him. 'If I don't join, then I will be able to peek at my leisure, but I will have to go to a civilian school and get a civilian job and those jobs won't give me much time to peek. On the other hand, if I become a ninja I will have to train to get stronger, but I will have a lot more free time and with the skills I learn, there would be less of a chance of me getting caught.' Coming to his conclusion, Naruto immediately began to fill out the forms.

Seeing Naruto filling out the forms, the elderly woman shook her head. "Kids these days, not taking the time to consider the pros and cons of becoming a ninja." She muttered.

Filling out the last of the form, Naruto handed it to the elder. "I've finished. So, when do I have to go to the academy?" Naruto asked.

"One week from when these forms are filed. I would suggest that you study Konoha's history before you enter the academy, one can never know too much." The elderly woman lectured. Paging through the academy forms, the elder nodded in satisfaction. "Yes, it appears that you have properly filled out these forms. I will take my leave now."

"Actually, could I ask you something?" Naruto said. Thinking back to the book he was reading earlier, Naruto had a question. "What is a clitoris?" He asked, stunning the clan elder with his crude question.

"I...What? Naruto, where did you learn that word?" The elderly woman asked, her face going pink due to both anger and embarrassment.

Realising that he had somehow angered the elder with his question, Naruto decided to lie. "Um, I heard it from some guy." Naruto replied.

"Which guy, what did he look like?" The elderly woman asked.

'What do I say, what do I say? I can't say Jiraiya... well I could, but he lent me his book and if this is how angry people get over one word from that book... Think Naruto think... wait, I think I know who I can blame.' Naruto thought quickly. Noticing that the elders face had gone completely red, Naruto gulped. "Um, he had a bandana on his head and he wore glasses. I think he said his name was Ebisu." Naruto began, doing his best not to stutter. "He said that you have to find a woman's clitoris to get them to like you."

"Ebisu." The elderly woman growled. "Naruto, I want you to listen to me very carefully, you will not mention that word ever again, am I clear?"

"Yes." Naruto replied, not wanting to anger the elderly woman any further than she already was.

"Good, now if you will excuse me, I am going to have a nice long chat with Ebisu over things a child should not be told." The elderly woman said, composing herself before leaving Naruto's home.

"Holy shit that was scary." Naruto muttered, glad the elder had left his home. Quickly fetching the book he had hidden in the toilet's cistern, Naruto warily glanced at the door before turning back towards his book. "Where can I hide this? I can't keep hiding it in the bathroom... it would be too obvious to hide it under my bed and what about when I walk around with it, I can't keep it in my pocket, it's too big... this is going to take some thought."

 **Flashback end**

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Naruto let out a content sigh as he closed the book, it had taken the majority of the previous night, and a few hours from when he woke up, but he had finally done it, he had finished reading the book Jiraiya had lent him. "Man, that was a good book. I can't wait to tell Jiraiya what I thought of it, those scenes, those characters, hehe." Naruto let out a giggle.

Looking at the time, Naruto's was shocked by how long he had been reading. "Holy shit, it's already night time." Naruto thought aloud. "What should I do, I'm not really tired... and I finished reading this book... I think I'll go to the hot spring, I could get a nice bath, peek a little, who knows, I might even bump into Jiraiya." Pulling his shirt on, Naruto secured the book underneath it, allowing it to rest against his chest. "I better get going."

Naruto smiled as he considered what he was going to tell Jiraiya about the book. "The book is a gift from the gods... no, how about, this book is the best thing ever written... I enjoyed the characters as much as they enjoyed themselves? Damnit, I just can't seem to find the right words." Naruto muttered to himself. Nearing the exit of the Uchiha compound Naruto suddenly realised something. "Why is it so quiet, I know it's night time, but there's usually some noise, I mean, there are no lights on and no noise at all. Is there a festival or something?"

Walking towards one of the few houses that had some light in it, Naruto felt compelled to peek through the window. "I bet there's a festival and those shitty elders forgot to invite me." Naruto muttered. Looking through the window, Naruto's eyes widened when he caught sight of what was inside the room.

Blood was splattered on the walls and on the floor, coating the bodies of the room's inhabitants. Not wanting to see the condition of the bodies, Naruto turned away. Feeling sick, Naruto did his best to steel his nerves as he looked for someone to help.

Spotting a Konoha ninja across the street, Naruto ran towards him. Taking note of the ninja, Naruto realised that it was a male Uchiha. "Ninja-san, I need your help, something ba..." Naruto began, but stopped when he noticed the ninja wasn't listening to him. Glancing at the man in front of him, Naruto realised that the ninja had blood splattered on him. "Ninja-sa..." Naruto gasped as a blade pierced through his chest. "Wh...Wha..."

Feeling the blade pulled from his chest, Naruto collapsed to his knees, watching as the ninja calmly walked away. 'Okay Naruto, think, that man probably killed those people in the room and he stabbed you, so he wants you dead as well... So Why aren't I dead?' Naruto wondered. Feeling the place where he was stabbed, Naruto let out a pained chuckle. "Thank you Jiraiya." Naruto muttered, feeling a hole in the book that was strapped to his chest.

Forcing himself to stand, Naruto let out a pained groan. "Left foot, Right foot, Left foot, Right foot." Naruto said, forcing himself to move, despite the wound he had. "Come on Naruto, you can do this. If you die now, you will never see more of that bouncy heaven, at best you will get saggy hell."

Naruto smiled as he saw just the man that could help him. Forcing himself to walk a bit faster, Naruto clutched his chest as he began to bleed faster. "Jir...Jiraiya." Naruto rasped out.

"Hey kid, so you finally decided to come to the hot spring again, too bad it's clos... Holy shit, what happened to you?" Jiraiya began, before noticing Naruto's condition.

"Stabbed by a Konoha Ninja. Help." Naruto replied. Losing his balance, Naruto began to fall forward, but was caught by Jiraiya before he could hit the floor.

"Hang in there kid, we're gonna get you to a hospital." Jiraiya said. Picking Naruto up, Jiraiya began his run towards the hospital. "Just hang in there for a bit longer Naruto."

"It... It was a Konoha ninja, I looked into a house and it was... everyone inside was dead." Naruto muttered, feeling himself grow weaker by the second.

"Just what the hell is going on?" Jiraiya asked. Arriving at the hospital in record time, Jiraiya raced inside. "I need your best Medical-nin right now." Jiraiya demanded loudly, gaining the attention of the hospitals staff.

"Jiraiya-sama, I am sorry, but our best Medical-nin is currently in surgery. Please place the child on the gurney and we will do our best to save him." A man dressed in medical attire said, gesturing towards the gurney.

Placing Naruto on the gurney, Jiraiya allowed the Medical-nin to wheel Naruto away. "Kage bunshin no jutsu." Jiraiya muttered as a puff of smoke appeared next to him. "Inform Sarutobi that something has happened in the Uchiha compound while I watch over Naruto." Jiraiya ordered. Leaning against the wall, Jiraiya glanced at the room where Naruto was currently being operated on. "You better pull through this, kid." Jiraiya muttered.

* * *

An: And there we have it. While I enjoyed writing most of this chapter, I was unsure of how to write the Itachi scene and Jiraiya taking Naruto to a hospital, I kept wondering how someone asks for a doctor, is it like ordering a meal, "I'll have one doctor with a side of nurse please." So I wrote it as best as I could.

Now to answer a few questions that have already been asked and will probably be asked again.

1: Naruto isn't related to Minato or Kushina, There will be another character that is though.

2: I do plan for Naruto to get the Rinnegan, but that is not going to happen anytime soon, hell, its still a while off from Naruto getting his Mangekyo, maybe a few chapters for his sharingan.

3: Naruto does not have the kyuubi in this story, we have another character for that.

4: Pairings will happen later on and still need to be decided... But I will not be doing a Naruto Hinata pairing, there are thousands of those stories already

5: Naruto isn't going to be broody and he isn't going to be sleeping with anyone for a while, although I will make use of sexual things for comedy.

I'll Answer more questions as this story progresses and questions arise.

Next chapter will deal with Naruto in surgery. Please Favorite, follow and review... and don't forget to check my other stories out, a crossover story between Naruto and Harry potter and a Shikotsumyaku Naruto story... I still need to write more for that one.

Hope you enjoyed this chapter  
Kir C


	3. Chapter 3

An: When hope is gone, undo this lock and send me forth, on a moonlit walk. Release Restraint Level... ZERO.

Yo, Kir C here, the tfs Hellsing quote is just there because its awesome.

Thanks to all those who Follow, Favorite and Reviewed this story, It's nice knowing that others like my work.

For the past few days I've been trying to write some chapters for my other stories, Hogwarts Overkill and Ancestral awakening, but for some reason I just couldn't write anything for them... I've literally planned Hogwarts Overkill and know what I'm going to do for each chapter and for Ancestral awakening I have over 30 chapters planned, but for some reason this is the only story that I could write today... its kind of annoying.

Enough with my rambling, onto the show.

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto... or that one character that makes an appearance.

* * *

 **Chapter 3: Life saving decisions**

Jiraiya sat patiently as he waited for news on how Naruto was doing. Looking at the clock on the wall, Jiraiya let out a tired sigh, it had been almost three hours since he had brought Naruto in, almost three hours since he sent a clone to alert his teacher that something was wrong, almost three hours since that other Uchiha kid was brought in.

"How the hell did this happen?" Jiraiya asked himself. "Why did it happen? Why did a Uchiha slaughter their entire clan and why did he spare that other Uchiha kid?"

"Excuse me Jiraiya-sama, could I have a moment of your time?" A female nurse asked softly, placing her hand on Jiraiya's shoulder.

"Do you have any news on Naruto?" Jiraiya asked immediately.

"Yes." The nurse replied solemnly. "Come, I'll take you to his room." She said, leading Jiraiya to Naruto's room. "There have been a few... complications during the surgery."

"Complications?" Jiraiya asked, not liking where the conversation was going.

"We were unsure of Naruto's blood type and there wasn't enough time to do a blood test, so we took a chance and transfused some blood from the other Uchiha child, luckily they seem to be a match." The nurse explained.

"So what's the complication?" Jiraiya asked, wanting the nurse to get to the point already.

"During the operation, we found a stab wound on Naruto's chest, most likely inflicted by a sword, the sword was slightly deflected by a book that was strapped to his chest." The nurse began. "Due to the book, the wound young Naruto received wasn't immediately fatal, we have managed to temporarily stabilize him, but it's only a matter of time before the wound ruptures and he dies... I'm sorry." The nurse apologised as they arrived in front of Naruto's room.

"Bah, is that all you can do, prolonging the boys life for a few hours." An elderly man spat. "If I had it my way, that boy in there would be perfectly fine, probably fully healed in a few days too."

"Minaka, what are you doing here." The nurse sneered. "I thought we made it clear that we didn't want you and your outrageous ideas in this hospital."

"Now hold on." Jiraiya said, stopping the two from arguing any further. "Who is he?" Jiraiya asked, pointing to the elderly man.

"His name is Hiroto Minaka and he was kicked out of the medical ninja program for performing dangerous experiments with a forbidden substance. It was even thought that he might be in league with Orochimaru." The nurse replied, her glare never leaving Minaka.

"Minaka, you said that you could have saved Naruto if you had your way." Jiraiya began.

"What do you mean could have? I still can, but I'm not allowed to... Kinda messed up that I can save lives, but I'm not allowed to, don't you think?" Minaka asked calmly, leaning against the wall.

Jiraiya rubbed his chin as he considered what he had just been told. "Hmmm, here's what we're going to do, we're going to Orochimaru the hell out of this." Jiraiya said, using Orochimaru's name as a verb. "Minaka, I want you to go into Naruto's room and save his life. Nurse, I want you to assist him with anything he might need, if anyone tries to stop you, tell them that you are acting on a direct order from Jiraiya of the Sannin. I will deal with any possible repercussions that may come from this."

Minaka smirked as he saw the shocked look on the Nurses face. "Well, you heard the man." Minaka began. "To save this Naruto kid, I'm going to need a few things, a scalpel, some equipment to monitor the kids' vitals, chakra levels and what not, but most importantly, I'm going to need the arm."

Noticing that the nurse was going to begin arguing with Minaka, Jiraiya decided to intervene. "Look, I don't care what Minaka requests, we're on a short time based schedule and for all I know, every second counts and Naruto is running out of seconds." Jiraiya began. "Now if you want to save Naruto's life, I suggest that you stop arguing with Minaka because he's Naruto's best chance of surviving this."

The nurse nodded quietly, shooting a glare at Minaka, before going to fetch the supplies he had requested.

Watching Minaka head into Naruto's room, Jiraiya let out a sigh. "Tsunade, we could have really used your help with this." Jiraiya muttered softly.

* * *

Naruto let out a yawn as he began to wake up. Not feeling any pain in his chest, Naruto slowly began to open his eyes. "Hmmm, where am I... Why's it so bright here?" Naruto asked himself, looking around, Naruto couldn't see anything other than a bright light. When he glanced down he was surprised for two reasons, the fist being that he no longer had a stab wound on his chest and the second being that he was completely naked.

"What the hell?" Naruto said. Straining his eyes, his surroundings slowly began to shift into that of a grass covered hill. "Hello, is anyone there?" Naruto yelled as he began to walk down the hill. Naruto's eyes widened as more of his surroundings were revealed. "A pool... why is there a pool in the middle of nowhere? Is that a person, maybe I could ask here where I am... Oh, there are a few of them, holy shit, she's not wearing anything, hehehe." Naruto giggled as he caught sight of a naked woman.

Realising that if he was caught perving on the women while he himself was naked, Naruto decided to sneak closer to get a better view. Darting towards a bush near the women, Naruto muffled his perverted giggle. 'A redhead in a red swimsuit, A midnight blue haired women wearing nothing and... Wait, is that an Uchiha, I think I met her once before... This just keeps getting better and better.' Naruto thought happily.

"Like I said before, it's really good to see you two again." The Uchiha woman said.

"It's good to see you too Mikoto, now stop saying that, Kushina and I didn't throw this small get together just so you could keep talking about how long it's been." The midnight blue haired woman replied.

"Sorry, it just has been a while and I'm glad to see you two." Mikoto said. "So, um, Hitomi, why are you naked?"

"Don't you know Mikoto? Hyuuga's are closet exhibitionists." Kushina answered, laughing at the annoyed look on Hitomi's face. Wiping the tears from her eyes, Kushina let out a squeal as she was tackled to the floor by Hitomi. "Hitomi, what are you doing? No, don't take those off, I don't like being naked in front of people." Kushina struggled in Hitomi's grasp, trying to keep her bikini on.

Getting off Kushina, Hitomi held Kushina's bikini up in triumph. "It seems like you're the only one wearing a bikini now Mikoto." Hitomi said, leering at Mikoto. "Do you need a little help taking it off?"

"No, I can take it off by myself." Mikoto replied. "You're just as I remember you." Mikoto muttered as she stripped out of her bathing suit.

Muffling his perverted giggle, Naruto shifted in the bush, intending on getting a better view of the three fully nude women by the pool. 'Man, I'm in bouncy heaven.' Naruto thought. 'Hmmm, what's that.' Naruto wondered as he caught sight of a golden chain coming from the redheads' body. Following the chain with his eyes, Naruto saw it go passed the other women, around the chairs and into a bush. 'I wonder where that leads.' Naruto thought. Feeling something wrap around his right ankle, Naruto's eyes widened when he realised that it was the same chain that was coming out of the redhead. "OH SHIII..." Naruto yelled as the chain tugged him out of the bushes, hanging him upside down in front of the three women.

"Eh, a kid?" Kushina said.

"Um, hello, my name is Uchiha Naruto and I was just looking for someone to tell me where I am." Naruto replied, hoping that the women wouldn't be too angry at him for peeking.

"Uchiha Naruto?" Kushina asked. "I don't know how to say this kid, but you're dea..."

"Kushina, I think I'll tell him." Mikoto interrupted. "Naruto-kun, what's the last thing you remember?" Mikoto asked, hoping that Naruto would realise that he died instead of having to be told.

"Um, I was on my way to the hot spring to..." Naruto scratched the back of his head as he stopped himself from admitting that he peeks. "Well anyway, I came across a few dead people and then some asshole Uchiha stabbed me in my chest." Naruto explained, drawing a chuckle from Kushina.

"So you understand that you died, right?" Kushing asked.

"Died? I didn't die. That asshole just stabbed me, I even made it to the hot spring and got Jiraiya to take me to the hospital." Naruto replied.

"Naruto-kun, we're currently dead, this is the afterlife. How else do you think that we're all here? Kushina died seven years ago, Hitomi four and finally I died today, along with you and the majority of the Uchiha." Mikoto explained gently. "Kushina, why don't you let him down, he's gone through enough as it is." Getting Kushina to release her hold on the chains.

Pulling himself to his feet, Naruto let out an annoyed sigh. "This sucks, things were just starting to go right, I mastered that Katon Jutsu, I enrolled in the academy and Jiraiya helped open my eyes." Naruto said.

"It's not that bad, you know what, why don't you join us." Hitomi offered.

"No offence, but I don't think joining you three will make me feel any better." Naruto replied.

Walking towards Naruto, Hitomi crouched down to his height. "Are you sure, we could always use someone to rub sunscreen on our backs and if you haven't noticed, none of us are wearing anything." Hitomi whispered into Naruto's ear, immediately brightening his day.

"You know what, maybe being here isn't going to be so bad." Naruto replied.

"That's the spirit." Hitomi cheered, before pulling a bottle of sunscreen seemingly out of nowhere. "Hey Kushina, Mikoto, we forgot to apply sunscreen."

"Can we even get sunburnt in the afterlife?" Mikoto asked, still getting used to being dead.

"We can't, but if we don't let Hitomi do it anyway, she will forcefully apply it to us." Kushina replied, remembering the time Hitomi forcefully applied sunscreen to her. "It's better to just go with it."

"I'm glad you see it that way, now both of you lie on your stomachs, seeing as there are two of you and one of me, I will be enlisting the help of young Naruto-kun." Hitomi said.

Knowing that arguing with Hitomi would be a waste of time, the duo got in position as Hitomi signalled for Naruto to come closer. "Give me your hand for a second Naruto-kun." Grabbing Naruto's hand, Hitomi squirted a large amount of sunscreen onto it, before doing the same to hers. "Now Just do as I do." Hitomi said, as she rubbed her hands together. Placing her hands on Mikoto's rear, Hitomi slowly began to knead the sunscreen in, making sure that there was no crack left untouched.

'She's a bigger pervert than Jiraiya and I combined.' Naruto thought as he watched Hitomi's gleeful face as she applied more sunscreen. Looking down at the redhead laying in front of him, Naruto gulped loudly. As Hitomi had done, Naruto rubbed his hands together, before bringing his hands closer to Kushina's rear end. Making contact, Naruto momentarily forgot to breathe as he began to move his hands around. Giving a soft squeeze, Naruto began to work closer to the crack, before pausing. "Um, Kushina, I'm sorry if I did something wrong, could you stop pulling me with you chain."

"I'm not pulling you with my chain." Kushina replied.

Looking behind him, Naruto found that Kushina was telling the truth, there was no chain tugging him. Feeling the tugging get stronger, Naruto visibly slid backwards, bringing the attention of the three women. "What the, what's happening?" Naruto asked. Feeling the tugging get stronger, Naruto grabbed Kushina's thighs in an attempt to anchor himself, but the sunscreen's slipperiness saw to it that he didn't hold on for long.

"I guess he wasn't dead, only close to it." Mikoto muttered as she watched Naruto being dragged away.

"Does this mean that I don't need to apply more sunscreen?" Kushina asked hopefully.

"Hmmm, nope. After I'm done here, I'm coming for you." Hitomi replied.

* * *

Naruto let out a groan as he slowly opened his eyes, trying to sit up, he found a burning pain in his chest. "Wh...where am I?" Naruto asked.

"Naruto, it's good to see that you're awake, I'll admit, I was a bit worried about you for a moment." Jiraiya said, seeing Naruto attempt to sit up, Jiraiya pushed him back into his bed. "I wouldn't do that kid, the doctors said that you shouldn't move around for a while, you don't want to injure yourself."

Looking down at a bloodied bandage resting on his chest, Naruto let out a pained sigh. 'My bouncy heaven... taken from me and in its place I'm stuck in this place...' Naruto thought as Jiraiya begane to recounted his heroic tale of how he saved Naruto.

* * *

An: There we have it, Chapter 3 is complete. If you feel like it, please favorite, follow and review. I like to hear what you think about my story.

Just a quick heads up, this is the most perverted thing that will happen to Naruto for a while, I wrote it in the spur of the moment so Naruto meeting Kushina, Hitomi and Mikoto in the afterlife wont have a huge impact on the story, at most it will give Naruto a fetish or two.

Kir C


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